


It's the little things that count ("I'm fine")

by IwriteDreams



Category: World Trigger
Genre: AHH, Anxiety, Help, M/M, Ship nobody else ships, Social Anxiety, self indulged
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7995811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IwriteDreams/pseuds/IwriteDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm fine" is a very clear way to say, "I'm anything BUT fine."</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's the little things that count ("I'm fine")

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know anybody who also ships this, help!!!
> 
> ...
> 
> I'm sorry
> 
> I just went back and HOLY HE'LL I DID NOT PROOF READ THIS AS MUCH AS I NEEDED TO I'M SORRY.

"I'm fine."

...

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

Kazama frowned, thinking of how familiar those throw-away words were.

If he had a penny for every time those two words slid past Kikuchihara's lips, Kazama felt he would be a billionaire.

"I'm fine."

Yet, there was always something about the way his boyfriend said that phrase, as if the real answer he sought out was hid behind that white-noise of an answer. For better, or for worse, Kazama knew there was more, concealed behind that half assed kind of answer. He never could appropriately react when he said "I'm Fine." It was his way of saying "It's all okay." And Kazama often wondered if he should really even be concerned.

Kazama had tried, time and time again to force an elaboration out of his closed mouthed... lover... but if he asked twice, or rephrased it, he would always respond with another "I'm fine." Sending the two of them back to square one. 

"I'm fine"

Kazama had recently taken to asking Kikuchihara about his day. This was, in fact, what started the whole "Fine" issue. It could be a "How was your day?" or a "How did your day go?" It started to become more specific the more he asked. ""How was training?" "How'd it go with them?" And his personal favorite, "How was school?"It only seemed appropriate to ask, as the well being, and academics of Kikuchihara mattered a great deal to him. 

Kazama grew more and more in need of an answer as they days passed on. He begged for a solid response, one word to describe his day, anything, but all he was ever handed in return was an "I'm fine." In the hopes to satisfy Kazama.

In all honesty though, Kama just wanted him to open up to him. He just wanted to hear an affirmative answer, no matter how vague or lazy, just something other than "I'm fine" Kazama just wanted to be there if he ever need him to be. He wanted to hear a story or two, anything but those blasted two words of disregard.

Kazama worried that Tachikawa may have rubbed off on him. He found himself on edge with KIkuchihara's responses to mundane questions. It was a sort of... obsession.

He was positive that Kikuchihara had something to hide after a couple weeks of beating around the bush. Kazama would force a response out of him if it was the last thing he did. He had always been a stubborn person, well, Kikuchihara was too, but this was something entirely new.

Even so, no matter his efforts, all he would ever get was a softened voice, scared of being too loud. 

"I'm fine"

Hearing those words, not to mention so often, begin to unsettle him. If the man he loved wouldn't tell him something as simple and small as that, how much did Kazama even matter to him? It probably didn't go that deep, but thinking of that... distance hit Kazama were it hurt. It almost felt dishonest. Probably wasn't. Maybe it was.

"I'm fine."

Suddenly, Kazama heard the words everywhere, and was drowning in them. 

"I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I'm fine." "I'm fine."

He heard the words carried on echoes throughout identical Border corridors. He heard citizens hand out and exchange the tired words on bustling streets. He heard those words wherever he went. They seemed to find it. 

"I'm fine."

Kazama however, hadn't worked up the courage to really display his intense curiosity. Kikuchihara hadn't really picked up on his repetitive queries. Then again, who would? To them, it was just Kazama being polite. 

Kikuchihara, after every question h asked, would ask the same of him. to which, Kazama still froning from the tell-tale response he just received, would supply a uniform answer.

"I'm fine."

But today, was different. 

Kazama sat on the couch, back stiff, eying the door. His mouth was dry, and the table before him was blank. 

"'I'm fine' My ass..." Kazama scowled.

The minutes passed.

There he was.

The door opened, and Kazama took in the sight he knew he would only witness for half a second, if he was lucky.

Kikuchihara was slouched, arm grabbing his elbow, a classic shy stance you would take if you weren't thinking about what you were really doing. His hand was spinning the little item that was missing from the table. It's absence had rose awareness of the whole issue. His eyes were looking somewhere he passed long ago, somewhere beneath him, and behind him. Kazama heard the little metal spin as Kikuchihara spun his nut up and down the little rusted bolt.

Then his half second was up.

Kikuchihara's eyes widened as he saw Kazama, his posture righted itself instantaneously, his gaze darted from top to bottom, before spluttering a small "K-Kazama?"

Kazama blatantly nodded.

"Your, uh, you, well... your early..." his voice faltered and gave way at 'early'. "I'm not the only one." Kazama replied, cooly.

"I, uh, I needed, I mean... you..."

"Don't Insult my intelligence, Kiku."

He gulped.

"Of course I noticed."

"Yes, well, uh, I mean, of course you did! I, It's uh, nothing to worry about!"

"You went for a walk."

"Uh, I mean, yeah, most people do..."

"You're not most people."

"Yeah, well..."

"You took your anxiety toy."

"..."

"..." 

"I mean, yeah, but it's okay."

"Why didn't you tell us your social anxiety was acting up again? That doesn't just... happen overnight with you!"

"Well, it wasn't that big a deal..."

Kazama stood up, indignant. 

"Then why the hell is that off the table, and in your hand?"

"Well, It does... help me, I thought it would be good to have just in case..."

"Kiku, we gave you that to use at Border. And you're using it for that exact purpose."

"It's not a big deal, okay?I shouldn't have brought it, I was fine without it."

Kazama stepped closer. Kiku was about to place his stim toy on the table again, when Kazama's hands found his, and pushed the steel pieces back into his palms.

"Keep it on you."

"Kazama, I didn't even-"

"We both know full and well that's a lie. You always try to tough out your condition, you never take help unless you really need it."

He looked him in the eye.

"I'm telling you I'm fine without it-"

Kazama hugged him close.

"And I'm telling you that you're full of shit."

"What is happening to you?"

"I'm fine"

"Yes, I know you are 'fine.' You're gorgeous, and smart, and tough, and it may not be a big deal to you, but it's a big deal to me."

"..."

"Answer me goddamn it!"

Kazama felt warm arms wrap around him in return. His response, however, was still unjust.

"I'm fine."

"Why are you hiding this answer from me?" he asked, his voice pleading, as Kikuchihara started to spin the two metal parts in his hands.

"Because I am, actually fine"He smiled, as he added on a mocking tone. "Babe."

"Again with the whole..." Kazama's face was red. "...babe... thing?"

"Of course."

"What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

"Don't you lie to me!" Kazama snapped bitterly.

Kikuchihara remained unphased, and nuzzled into Kazama's hair.

This cutie was the perfect height for it, not that he would ever say that out loud.

"Why? Why are you hiding? just the why is enough."

Kikuchihara sighed. Kazama was as persistent as ever.

"It's just that..." he huffed as small, muttered complaint.

"I just didn't want you to worry. It was nothing big, really. Just a rough patch, honestly, that's all it was. To many people, to many outside conversations, not enough you. I just didn't want you worrying about a thing, okay?" 

"I woul-"

"No, no, no. You totally would have been worried about me, that's why I love you." Kikuchihara forced the words out with some difficulty. Saying that still sounded lame.

"Well, not telling me at all is worse! I'm just glad you actually were fine, but you have to tell me these things so I can help you, because if I can't help you then..."

"I know."

Kazama took a sharp inhale as Kikuchihara's fingers tilted his chin up. He gently brought his lips to Kazama's, as if not to hurt anything. Soft, dry lips greeting his own. He pressed his lips to the smooth surface for too long, not that it mattered, the two clung to each other, and were alone. There was no rush.

"Just remember..."

"Sometimes it's the little things that get to you."

Kikuchihara looked down at Kazama.

"It's always the little things who matter."


End file.
